As a Side Note

Just so that you don't freak out thinking that I just wrote all of these poems today, know that I've been writing them since around October, I've just failed epically at posting them. I finally sat down and actually typed them up. Hope you like. =]

Let's Play

Dealing with death
Is a dangerous game;
Fun to play,
But unlikely to win.
The stakes are high,
But the rewards are
Exceptional.
To win would be
Starting over.
To lose would be
The end of everything.
Come play if you like,
But know the price
Of this dangerous game
You chose to play.

Dolls

Bleeding through unseeing eyes
Tear streaked lines
Fall down the iced face
It cannot feel
It can only wait
As the tides of time
Erase it from life

Drowning

Fighting against the flow,
swimming upstream,
why am I still fighting?

I'm losing needed strength;
can I let go?
I'm tired of fighting.

I'm drowning in a sea of life,
losing the will to live.
I'm blinded by the dark water.

What is the point of staying here
when I am kept under,
never again to breathe the air?

My heart, my lungs, living in endless pain,
my strength is faltering again.
The cover that blinds is bound to my soul.

I want to keep going, to keep fighting,
but my body can't keep it up.
My mind is clouding as I stay under.

My heart beat is slowing,
my strength is gone,
and I fall into sleep.

Solitude

Slumbering is my broken heart
Never shall it be whole again
Lost,
Never to be found again.
My bliss is nothing more
Than a faded memory
Having left me to die
Alone.

Trickery

The fallen beast
lays hiding.

Tricksy and false,
the quiet beast lies
waiting.

Tricked to believe
a false injury,
the beast lies
waiting.

The poor, helpless prey
doesn't see the trick
until
the sneaky beast
attacks in anticipation.

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping beauty,
her soul long gone;
Sleeping Beauty
was left alone.

Mistaken for dead,
she was left forgotten;
mistaken for dead,
passed by lesser men.

Quietly sleeping,
Beauty was stolen;
quietly sleeping,
her being was shaken.

Never to awake,
Sleeping Beauty with stay,
never to awake,
she'll never see the day.

Free Association Writing

So here's what happened. I decided that I would try out Freud's idea of free association writing. Well, it came out pretty interesting and fairly intense, but a lot of it was poetry of sorts. It was very thought provoking to me and maybe you'll find it the same. So I have decided that I will share a portion of it with you. I've changed the spelling errors but other than that I'm typing it exactly as I wrote it.

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invisible motion to be lost in thought of great artistic memory yet forgotten by bittersweet love to turn to greed anger and hate

what comes now is as impassive as dark night always watching but never seeing never believing tragedy

what lies in words but can't be found might as well drown as the poet speaks literal words of death to be forgotten once more on tragic memory

what of me do you seek? a lost tangle of lies and deceit

better to end up dead than in someone else's bed

so hurt burned charred disgraced but never again to win a race

you'll never know never feel never see what it is to make me me

these cuts that grow blood will bring new life for only life can come from death only death from life

do you like what you see? this tragic mystery on love's death bed? heart grew cold as stone when left alone. can't love, can't breathe can't feel and there's nothing left to feel

you're dead now and you can feel it the empty tears of nothing froze you, too too long I've lived too long I've died and never been seen by you nor I I'm broken beyond repair

maybe he can see that

do you know? i know you feel something isn't right. maybe drugs or parasites

he's being eaten alive from the inside and we both know he'll never survive without your or I

but he lies hurts us breaks us makes us cold again and never can we be the same again

love him we do, we'll never stop but trust is yet a different thing for that can easily pass

don't read into the words as literal truth but find the secrets written behind. awaken and read and you will see what is left of you and me.

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Again, that's only a piece of what I wrote. It came out pretty interesting to me so I decided it was worth sharing. =]

A Tragic Epitaph on Love's Lullaby

To be in my shadow
-is lonely.
But is it even mine?
My shadow and yours
Were once joined as one,
But now we're apart.
I gave you my heart.
You still have a piece
-did you know?-
I've replaced that piece
With something new
But I know
The original still exists
-away from me-
I'm now stuck wondering
If maybe it went both ways,
Or did you take yours back?
I've moved on
But a part of me will always
Love you
It makes me sad
To think I lost you.
You were my life, my love,
my friend.
I don't know where we stand now.
I don't know where we're going.
But in the end,
I hope the most
That we can still be friends.

Lovers

That soft, tingly feeling,
the one created by your hand,
eases my being
to quiet slumber.

My head rests
soundlessly
on your warm shoulder
as you caress my face again.

Love,
that's what it boils down to.
I will never release
this epic feeling of hope.

Healing

Silent musings
from troubled days,
empty memories
will never fade.
Slumbering emotions
come to pass
but soon they'll dissolve
into nothing but ash.
Eyes open to blinding light,
suddenly the world
is held in sight.
A cold, dead heart
heated by summer rays,
this new awakening
for a new day.

The Liar

I lie,
I know I do.
My lie is simple -
my lie is that I'm okay.

My being radiates joy
but it is merely the costume
-the prop-
for the play.

My sorrow runs deep
and my lie only covers
surface space.
You only see the lie.

I want to heal,
to be honest again,
but I don't know how
to make the lie the truth.

Companionship to heal my heart,
or something to come from within
or maybe a needed closure
with the creator,

the one who makes me lie.
I lie to hid my broken heart,
the heart that can't seem to heal,
but I lie to say I'm okay.

It makes me sad
to see you believe,
but maybe it would hurt more
if you were to know the truth.

Falling For You

Passion, desire, loneliness,
Yes, I understand
I know you feel it, too.
The physical pain
Only worsens
As I find myself
pining
After you.

I think I love you.
Did you notice?
I fall for you
Faster and harder
With every passing day.
It's killing me.
-I'm dying-
To be away from you.

It's your touch,
I think,
That makes me believe
That you may actually
Love me
Too.
-I'm still dreaming-
Are we meant to be?

Broken

You cut me deep,
Deeper than you know.
Most days I forget
-You hardly matter now-
But it's the times like now
That the pain comes back
the hardest

I'm hurting.
I still don't understand.
What made the hate?
You said you never loved me.
-I hope that's a lie-
But I wonder how that can be true.
All I ever did was for you.

I don't understand.
I don't think I ever will.
You hate me now.
What can I do?
I gave you everything
-"Stupidly," is what you'd say-
I thought I knew you...

I guess I was wrong.
I suppose I'll go forgotten,
Left to fade like a bad dream.
I want to say I don't care,
But I can't lie anymore.
I want to cry
-There's no tears left to shed-

Just so you know

I am going to Florida today, and I will be gone for at least ten days. That means at least ten days until I post again. I know I don't post much (mainly because my creative energy has not been flowing) but I will do my best to write some on this trip and post it up for you to read.

Thanks a bunch,

Krista

Heartbreak

Blind.
Numb and blind.
The dull, tingly,
empty abyss of
-nothingness-
it's left me dead inside.

I'm blind;
You can't see that
-of course not-
but my existance has been
-nullified.
I'm left blind.

Empty.
Hollow.
I guess you can confirm:
Yes, that's me
-if nothingness is tangible-
but yes. I'm bleak.

Tragic. Dead. Nothing.
I'm wandering,
broken inside
-lonely-
I just want to be
Loved.

Leap of Faith

It's a dream,
a dream of peace.
My question stands,
is the dream worth the fall?
I'm scared,
but there's nothing to loose.
Hold on to me tight,
for I don't want to be alone
if I fall.
I toe the edge
and hold my breath
when a gust of wind
pushes me forward.
The rush is slowing
much to soon
and I come to see
that I can fly.

The Crimson Death

There, upon your head, a drop of sunshine
trickles down your solemn face. I see that quiet explosion
behind your eye, yes, that silent laughter
that created the tears.
Your soul is cleansing itself with a revelation of crimson
and gold.

I can see that fleck of gold
reflecting in your eye like a pool of sunshine
ready and waiting for someone to see. You cannot hide behind your crimson
mask for long. Soon, very soon, the explosion
will reveal you in invisible tears.
This is where the laughter

lies. Your hatred for the world drips off your tongue in bitter sweet laughter,
melting the world before you as molten gold
would press upon us. How many tears
have slid down your face in anguish for what the man who "loved" you did? Sunshine
doesn't exist for you now, only the never-ending explosion
of chaos running through those crimson

vessels. The disturbing pleasure those crimson
pools caused you, the traces of laughter
still on your face, no one knew of that silenced explosion
for you hid it well in a cast of gold.
The betraying sunshine
has left you to suffocate in an empty universe of tears.

I remember when the tears
fell, the hurt that was scrawled in crimson
letters of death across a mirror where sunshine
masked the tragedy. The laughter
and care-free view of life as gold
would only die in the explosion

erupting from you. All that remains from the explosion
are the tears,
falling down our faces faster than a river of gold.
I saw the crimson
rifts that tore apart your body. Here is where the laughter
died. I watch as the sunshine

vanishes. I can see the traces of the explosion lingering in your crimson
eyes. All the tears have dried with no trace of laughter
left. I've lost myself in a golden lie, for no longer is there sunshine.

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Okay, it's severely depressing and I probably wouldn't have posted this one first except for the fact that it's the only poem that I've rewritten several times to get it absolutely perfect. I love this one, but I'm not sure if people understand what happened. Leave a comment for ideas on what you think happened because I have the vision in my head but I'm not sure if I was too vague in my writing for the audience to figure out what happened. All comments are greatly appreciated =]

Welcome

Hi, and welcome to my latest blog. I will not be writing in this blog every day, however as I write more and more, this is where I will post it. Most of my writing is poetry, however I try not to limit myself to just that. Maybe in my next entry I will post some sample works of mine (poetry, again because that's about all I write) and it can give you a taste of what I do. Much of my work is centered around my life and how I feel at the time of writing it, however recently I've been toying with differing subjects, points of view, and styles of writing. Most commonly I write in free verse, however my absolute most favorite style is a Sestina. So much love for the sestinas!!! Anyway, this is where my work will be published, and I hope that you enjoy it. =]